Intrepid Murmurings

I FINALLY got my hands on a book that has been recommended to me time and again:  Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense, by Ellyn Satter.  Its a popular book, and I was waiting for it from the library for what felt like FOREVER!  But thank goodness it finally came, since we are in desparate need of some help in the feeding and food department.  

Mostly, our struggles have to do with Emma, though Elsie and Delia are throwing their cups/spoons/bowls in the ring as well (mostly typical toddler stuff at this point).  I love to cook and serve food, but I need to be careful because man, it feels like a minefield these days!  I cannot let myself get frustrated or take it personally when they are not interested in my hard (and delicious) work.  

One of the main points in the book is that in terms of eating and feeding, there is a "division of responsibility" that must be shared between parents and kids.  Here is more info taken from her website:

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This all makes a lot of sense, and though I haven't read a whole lot of the book yet, her arguments and research are very convincing!  She talks about how kids who have trouble with picky or problem eating most often show signs of this, in one way or another as infants -- and indeed!  Emma did have feeding issues very early on!  She was a challenging and needy baby.  She has always been super cautious, very stubborn, and sensitive to her surroundings.   My cousin Sarah recently posted a link to this chart about the 9 temperament traits in children (and all of us) and it was really enlightening as well, especially the "sensory threshold" one, but also many of the others too.  Keeping this stuff in mind makes me feel better that we are not causing the picky eating stuff, but that its just a reflection of her personality right now.  

I still need to read the main sections on toddler and preschool eating and feeding, which I am sure will have tons more advice, but we've already started to make some changes based on her recommendations.  We are no longer badgering her to eat more of this or that on her plate.  We are not withholding dessert until she has eaten XYZ (this one is really hard sometimes, but I am pretty sure it is the right thing to do -- it is SO nice to avoid the power struggles and Emma's misery when choking down whatever food she hates).  We are cutting back on too many snacks/grazing in between meals, and food "panhandling".  And as always, I am trying to include a few foods that she likes at every meal (this can be hard, and definitely doesn't happen all the time).   

Luckily, our issues aren't as bad as some; I know that and am very thankful.  Emma's always been fine in terms of weight/height percentiles and we have no obvious allergy concerns, so there is not that added worry which I know can really multiply the challenges.   For us, its mostly about food variety, or lack thereof.  I hope that as we lighten up and let some of these issues go, we will see some positive changes!  Or at least a bit less stress!

Tired of being locked up in our house on flu quarantine!  We are going nuts here!

Tired of wondering if its H1N1, strep, sinus or ear infections.  Or a combo of them all.   

Tired of E & D climbing ON EVERYTHING.  And messing up my stuff.  Constantly.

Tired of sick babies wanting to nurse all the time.   

Tired of no naps, late naps, short naps, messed up naps due to the 2-1 nap transition and the 1-0 nap transition.

Tired of food refusal and food throwing.

Tired of negotiating.   

BUT!  Last night everybody slept!  E & D from 7:30-6 (with one wakeup around 4:45).  So despite all of the above, I am not actually TIRED.  Yeah! 

Emma is 3.5 years old today!  Happy half birthday, my little big girl!  

In the past few days I've been writing down some of Emma's funny words and phrases again, those cute ones you don't ever want to forget.  She has always been extremely verbal, so while she had a ton of funny ones early on, at this point she has a pretty big vocabulary and good pronunciation.  Which makes her Emma-isms all the more delightful! I usually have a hard time correcting her -- I will miss them when they go!  Here are a few of the current ones (some are newish, some longstanding):

• macamonie cheese 
• "ping around the rosie" (she actually gets this right now about 50% of the time)
• bedume (bedroom)
• jungleaya (jambalaya -- though often confused with "enchilada"!)
• band-aim (bandaid)
• opemeal (oatmeal)
• produme (problem)

In case you care about our ongoing H1N1 saga:

I think we are on the mend!  I had it bad really only for a day (though I hoping desparately that this sore throat does not turn out to be strep!).  Elsie is pretty much fine, Delia still coughing and a bit whiny, Emma still feverish off and on but mostly feeling pretty chipper as well.  Its the coughing (x3) at night that is really the most miserable.  Last night wasn't TOO bad, and hopefully tonight is a bit better! 

We have some things going on this weekend that we REALLY don't want to miss, but also don't want to risk infecting anyone.  I fear at least one of us adults and a kid or two will have to stay home -- but maybe we'll have some quick recoveries?  I hope? Not betting on it, however....   

On various parenting forums I am on, people sometimes worry (preemptively) about how to juggle more than one kid, especially when it comes to sleep and putting kids to bed.  When you have a needy, challenging sleeper for kid number one, this fear is definitely multiplied!  Here is my response to someone who was asking specifically about putting kids to bed when it is just you (one adult).  Ah, a topic near and dear to my heart...sleep!   (This was an attachment parenting group, so it has a AP bent to it.  Which is basically our style, anyway!)

As soon as I was pregnant, we started working on getting Emma (then 16 month old)  sleeping more independently.   I know some families make the family bed work with several kids, but I just didn't think it would for us, especially with twins on the way!  She was a challenging sleeper and very dependent on mama for getting to/staying asleep (nursing to sleep, nursing for all wakeups, very hard to get down for naps etc).   So once we found out we were pregnant (and actually about a month before we knew) we started making gradual changes. Baby steps, towards the goal of more independent sleep.    Nightweaning, falling asleep without being held/rocked, sleeping in her own bed (but with with mama),  sleeping first stretch alone.....eventually (many many months later, actually a bit after the twins were born) learning to fall asleep without someone lying there with her.  It really was a slow, organic process, but for us laying the foundation for the changes, and easing into it, worked. 

Sick sick sick.  

Fever for me of 103!

E & D still coughing, Delia still really congested and miserable (sometimes).  

Emma getting a cough that was ramping up this pm... 

Luckily Lonnie had it two weeks ago, and is mostly recovered.  

Not a pleasant day, though!  

Lets go immune systems!  

Lately the little girls have been really cute in the way they play and hang out together.  They love each other so much and definitely do have a special bond.  They hug and kiss each other when they are hurt (or to make up after a fight, ha ha), pat each others cheeks or shoulders when they are both nursing, and help each other out by getting or giving up stuff that the other wants sometimes (not always though, of course!!!).  When one is having fun or laughing at something, the other ones eyes always light up and often they seem almost as happy watching the fun than actually participating in it.  In the early mornings, if one has been sleeping with me and the other in their room, they both are so happy to see the other and settle in for a good cuddle.  

Yesterday, they were entertaining each other playing peek a boo in the living room curtains.  They were having a blast and talking and laughing together.  Sadly, no pictures or video of that one, but it was funny in the moment! 

I absolutely don't expect them to always be like this, to always "get" each other or even want to spend time together -- they are unique individuals and I am sure they will struggle with their twinness as well as enjoy it sometimes.  But these moments, which happen so often these days, are really sweet and definitely a heartwarming part of having twins!    

A few days ago I set up our awesome playhut tents that Uncle Charlie and Marie gave the girls last summer.  Though we enjoyed them outside a fair bit, they are also great indoor playhouses on endless rainy/cloudy NW days!  I think this was right after the girls afternoon nap (Emma was still asleep).  I told them to go play in their tent and came back to find this:

I used to make forts to read in all the time, so it was cool to see E & D also thought that might be a good idea! Thanks Charlie & Marie!!!  Love the tents!!!

Tonight is movie night for Emma and Mama.  We are going to watch "Follow that Bird", the old Sesame Street movie that I loved as a kid.  We are watching it together because the generation gap is a little too much -- this is a movie of the '80's and I need to explain various things in it, ha ha!   We are going have popcorn and Sprite, and stay up PAST 7:30!!! FUN FUN!  

Edited to add: OMG, total hit!  She LOVED it!  I did have to do a lot of explaining & "spinning" some things (like the concept of the "bad guys" who were kidnapping Big Bird and making him a circus act (?!?),  but all in all she loved it and I did too.  I heart JH (Jim Henson).  Next up, perhaps Big Bird in China?

But that brings me to my main question:  What are some good kid-friendly movies for the 3-4 year old set?  Nothing very scary, please!  And ideally something that I will enjoy too!  

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And now, for some pictures of the kids from the last week or so.  More in the November gallery!  

Emma's current fashion

 Elsie

Delia

Emma and Delia

3 in Motion 

Elsie is still sick.  She is pretty much fine all day and then as soon as she lies down at night the coughing starts.  Horrible sleep last night -- I bet the longest chunk of sleep she and I got was an hour but mostly 20-30 mins at a time, with long periods of restless dozing in between.  The start of the evening has been bad already so I do not have high hopes for tonight....  

Yep, coughing and crying again!  No time to even post tonight.  The only thing I can do is to hold her or bring her to bed with me, where she sleeps horribly because she is not used to cosleeping and can't get comfortable.  

Gotta go.  Send the health vibes this way please! 

Geesh, this NaBloPoMo is a little exhausting!  But good for folks like me who need a little external motivation!  

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What's going on here?  Elsie is sick, possibly with H1N1, though it could be something else as well.  Still no vaccines in sight for any of us, too!  We are pretty sure Lonnie had it (the Swine) about two weeks ago.  Emma, Delia and I have had cold symptoms, but nothing flu-ish.  Elsie had a fever for a few days, though it seems to have broken since last night.  She also has a horrible cough, and at times is generally miserable (mostly, of course, in the middle of the night). Last night was HELL with her awake and whimpering, dozing on me, or crying off and on for hours.  Delia woke more than usual too, so I was pretty much up and down all night, or trying to sleep with a fussy baby next to or on top of me. Just when teething was over and they were toying with maybe sleeping through the night on occasion, here we go cold and flu season.  Waaaaaaaaah! 

The ped's office wants us to come in tomorrow if Elsie isn't improving (especially the cough), since H1N1 tends to have lots of post-flu complications (like pneumonia in young kids).  Having spent 2 weeks in the hospital with pnemonia and a collapsed lung, I understand how bad that can get in a hurry!  But I am also not TOO worried, since she seems pretty fine during the day, and if it were bad I think she'd be feeling worse all the time.  Hopefully we are all on the mend!  And that everyone sleeps tonight!  I could use it! 

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Feeling overwhemed by stay-at-home mamahood, right now.  The neverendingness of it all can be really exhausting, mentally if not physically.  I finally conquered a mountain of laundry that was piling up on our living room couch, but know there are still more loads to do in the basement.   Keeping up with dishes, laundry, the chaos and destruction that these three can create in just a few hours, plus cooking, serving, and cleaning up three meals a day is a lot of work!  All the little things really do add up, its crazy.  And even though I do have time that I could be accomplishing other things in, I just don't have the energy or motivation a lot of the time.  

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Oh man, just realized there are some link issues in the right column here on the blog.  I think a section of my blogroll got deleted, and another section doubled.  Sheeesh!  Gotta wade through the code and figure that one out (or call in the Admin, who I think may be the guilty party here in the first place!  Serves me right for having him add the NaBloPaMo button instead of doing it myself, ha ha!).   I am percoloating a lot of ideas for changes around here but am not sure yet what I will go for.  Its funny, in the years since I started this blog things have really changed on the blog scene!  Ads, tons of blog networks, all sorts of buttons (for  blog networks, social networks,  special events, blogrolls and individual blogs, buttons for everything!). Some of it is really cool -- I thing the networking aspect of it can be great for finding new blogs to read and new readers to write for!  But it also is overwhelming, visually.  I like the simplicity of the basic old fashioned website.  So perhaps this blog will remain (mostly) a relic of 2004, design wise... 

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Okay, gotta go.  More tomorrow!  Hopefully a more interesting and topic-oriented post!  Maybe with pictures... 

I realized I never posted on our ER drama a few weeks ago!  

A week before Halloween, I had my first panicky what-the-hell-am-I-going-to-do moment as a mama of 3, when Delia fell at the playground and bit all the way through her lip -- blood gushing inside and out, tons of swelling, and she was screaming her head off.  I was solo with all three girls, across town (30 min or so from home) they were all hungry and ready for a nap. It was a Saturday so our doctors office wasn't open, which meant the ER was the only option.  Lonnie was home and sick with what might have been swine flu.   

THANK GOD FOR OTHER MOTHERS!  It happened at the tail end of the twins club Halloween party, and there were still a few twin mamas inside cleaning up.  Someone stayed with Emma and Elsie while I went hunting for some water.  Another got ice and gave Emma and Elsie a snack bar.  There were two postpartum doulas there (I think they were there to help out and drum up some business?) and they jumped into action, one got my car, one offered to drive Elsie and Emma home so I could take Delia to the ER.  It felt strange, but letting her take them home seemed like the best option at the time (I felt better knowing it was a certified doula known and used by other moms in the club). Emma and Elsie were totally fine hopping into the car with a stranger -whew! Supposedly they both fell asleep on the way home.  

We sat in the ER (of the Children's Hospital) for 6 hours, waiting for this and that (tons of really sick kids there, luckily we got a private room after a couple hours).  After a check to see if it actually went through (it did, just a bit) we had to wait for a plastic surgery consult, but they thought it only needed outer stitches so the regular doc did that.  They had to immobilize her up with a pillowcase and sheets, and I had to hold her knees and feet so she couldn't push off while the nurse held her mouth shut when the Dr was stitching.  Only two stitches but they took a long time and she was HYSTERICAL (she screams when she even catches sight of a dr or nurse, even for regular check ups, so she was crying off and on all afternoon!).  They told me she won't remember the stitching part due to the anesthesia they gave her, but the whole affair certainly didn't help her fear of doctors, AT ALL.  

The worst part (well, other than the injury and stitching) was that she had no lunch, no nap, and she couldn't have snacks or liquids the whole time we were there, in case they had to give her the anesthesia.  I couldn't even nurse her, and she really wanted to!  We got there at 1pm and didn't get out of there until 7pm.  She did sleep for about 20 on me at one point, but that was not much.  I had no toys or books or anything with me (note to self, always stock diaper bag with said items!), and she was SO bored and bouncing off the walls by the end.  And I was freaking exhausted.  

But, somehow we survived!  Emma and Elsie were asleep when we got home, and Delia had a quick bite to eat and slept pretty well too.  The next day it all looked BAD and I was worried about infection, but after that the swelling went down and in a week the stiches were removed.  There is a little scar there now, but it should fade away and not be noticable.  Poor Delia -- only a few months earlier she had her other accident (riding her bike off the steps!) and had a mouth injury and chipped teeth for that.  Hoping to avoid any more injuries for awhile now!   

I have been meaning to post about this project for ages -- it was one of several we did near the end of this past summer. We decided to turn our long, white, boring hallway that takes you from the front door to the kitchen into a giant, magnetic chalkboard.  It turned out pretty cool!

We started with several layers of magnetic primer, then added several more layers of chalkboard paint on top.  Though you can make your own chalkboard paint in any color somehow (I think it has to do with adding grout to the paint?) we opted for the commercially sold stuff.  Which meant our colors were limited -- we chose brown!   

It was a pretty easy project, but took awhile with all the coats, and drying time required between them.  For the most part its pretty great!  We learned a few things that we would do differently next time  -- mostly sanding a bit more and using a sponge brush if possible to get a smoother writing surface.  Because of the texture, its kind of hard to erase sometimes, especially some of the darker brighter colors of chalk.  Also, the magnetic aspect is not super strong (as you should expect from only 3 layers of magnetic paint!) so it doesn't hold all types of magnets well.  But some of them, including some letter magnets, work fine!  Hooray!  

Unfortunately, Elsie still cannot be left alone with chalk.  I swear the things she puts in her mouth still!  Yuck!   

15 years ago I started dating the love of my life.  We were 17, seniors, and on a high school trip -- an optional weekend beach trip dubbed the "gender retreat", where the focus was to discuss gender roles in society (I think? I don't really remember that part, ha ha!).  It was on the Oregon Coast, a bunch of our friends were there too, and it was a lot of fun. And the start of something pretty awesome... 

Lonnie and I knew each other from French class.  He knew all these cuss words and inappropriate slang picked up from playing rugby and hanging out in bars with his dad in Benin, Africa.  I struggled endlessly due to my challenges with doing anything that requires auditory learning and memorization.  I am sure we were less than stellar students in this class!   But also because our school was small,  everyone knew everybody.  We had mutual friends, but didn't hang out much together until that fateful weekend.  

And now! 15 years!  A lot has happened in the interim!  A crazyfun senior year together.  A really hard and sad goodbye as the school year ended and we separated to different continents.  College apart for 4 years, keeping in touch sporadically (we'd see each other in Seattle on school breaks, and once he drove through MN on the way across country and stayed in my dorm room!).  Then reconnecting and doing the I-5 commuter relationship thing for a year and a half while I went to grad school.  Finally moving in together and eventually getting married, getting a dog, yada yada yada (Emma, Elsie, Delia), and here we are today!

I can't believe how lucky I am to be here now, with him beside me.  And this amazing family we have created!      

And now, a few pics to take us down memory lane: 

Us at graduation (June '95)

Lonnie at our graduation party

Lonnie and me in Seattle ('96 or '97?).  We were so young!!!