Intrepid Murmurings

New Art & Upcoming Show

Anahata (heart) 12x24, encaustic
Just finished this piece yesterday, which is going in a show being hosted by our high school in Portland. It is the first time in a long while I've worked with adding images and words to a painting; most of my other work is non-representational and focused on texture and color.

Below is more info about the show cut from a recent newsletter. We'll be going down next weekend for a visit with the parents, a baby shower, and to go to the opening. Looking forward to it!
"Matthew Lyon's death last June has moved those who knew him and worked with him to honor his memory and his life by organizing an art exhibit that celebrates the theme of Seeking Spirit, a guiding force in Matt's life and art. Artists who knew Matt were invited to contribute original artwork inspired by his work, friendship and influence. Proceeds from any sales will be donated to the Matt Lyon Memorial Scholarship Fund. Over 30 artists, 12 of them alumni, will be participating. Everyone is welcome to attend the opening reception from 2 to 5 p.m. on Sunday, April 9, in the new Gallery at Oregon Episcopal School."

Well Dressed Baby
This babe is going to be one well-dressed infant! (if she's anything like me, though, her outfits during the teen years may be slightly less cute). These are the onsies the cool folks at my shower created, and they turned out great! We had a few mishaps with the iron-on backing stuff, but those are being taken care of by mommy-dearest (not me, I'm not the mom yet, whew). Can't wait to see the babygirl in them!

Random thoughts....for an unproductive day
Things I did not expect about pregnancy:

• You can actually feel the damn stretch marks as they form! I did not know this until now! (thing husband said yesterday that did not win him any points: "wow, you have sooooo mannnnnnnnny stretch marks now!" Geesh. Thanks!)
• Nausea returns in the third trimester! Suck suck! (although, perhaps, this will help with the weight gain the Dr. says I might want to watch a little closer, for my own comfort. Heh.
• Maternity pants always slide slide slide on down at the waist despite the employment of drawstrings, belts, or bella bands, so you are constantly having to hitch them up and/or drag them on the wet muddy ground (while flashing everyone some stretchmarky belly). Despite this, you can still be almost bursting out of same pants in other areas and showing horrifying panty lines. Odd, yes?

What did I do today? Not Much! I went to pregnant lady yoga, ate a pecan sticky bun at a semi-chain store bakery, and bought crickets for our starving frogs. Then dozed upstairs in bed while listening to our contractor work on hooking up the toilet (hooooooraaay! I think it will be done in an hour or so!!!) What did I not do? Quite a bit! So far my taxes are STILL not done, because I dread having to add up all the Unorganized Infertility Bills to see if we have enough to get us a deduction. I am also not at all finished with the encaustic piece that ideally will be done on Sun, so my mom can deliver it to the place where the show is (a memorial show for an art teacher we had in high school) in Portland. My dilemma is finding the right kind of rice paper that can both 1)go through the printer and 2)disappear seamlessly into the wax. I know it is out there, I have seen it and used it, but just can't find it now. Lame! Okay, so here, finally, is a belly pic, since a few of you have been asking. There is no head involved, since all the photos Lonnie has taken of me in whole-body form lately feature unacceptable expressions on my dorky face. Note that this was taken about a week ago, and is noticeably smaller and less-stretched-to-uncomfortable-levels-that-I know-will-only-get-worse-with-time. We'll try to get a shot from this week up for comparison sake soon.

Bathroom Update
Progress is being made! The tile is up, today its being sealed and grouted. Unfortunately, we are on day 2 of no toilet (!), though it will be connected tommorrow AM. Luckily, we are staying somewhere else at night and I am also able to go there during the day to use the bathroom. Not the most convenient situation, but far better than it could be...

gearin' up for that moo thang

So we are planning to breastfeed, and the process of successfully setting up the human "dairy-bar" has been on my mind a wee bit. We've actually never considered not doing it, as both sides of our families have breastfed with success (which I am beginning to realize may in fact be rather rare, though I'd never given it a second thought before reading up on all of this). So for us it seems a pretty normal thing, and not too anxiety producing at this point. I am not at all worried about getting the support I need, which many folks sadly do not, and I think I know enough to take the early measures needed to get a good start, and when to call in help of the almighty lactation consultant if things are not so peachy.

This is why so far I have not signed up for an actual breastfeeding class, like so many people do. Am I crazy? Should I? Should I attend a La Leche meeting instead? I have read about half of the La Leche book on the subject, and am planning to have phone numbers of a LC and local LLL leader handy from the get go. Over the years I've read a gazillion stories online about breastfeeding difficulties/horror stories, and feel that has actually helped me feel more ready; I know very well it is not always a picnic, so to speak. I've also heard a fair share from people who have not had problems, or at least very few, and am keeping that in mind too.

I do, however, feel a bit of pressure that some may not, in terms of solving those early issues very quickly, if they do arise. If we have problems with latch, or milk coming in, or something of the like, I really really do not want to supplement, as often happens, not even a little bit, because of the allergy thing. My husband has a severe dairy allergy, and we really want to do what we can to prevent the babe from having to deal with that. I have read that there is definitely a genetic link with this kind of thing, and something like a 40% greater risk of a child getting it if there is a family member with one (though a paternal link is slightly less strong than a maternal one). As a teacher, I have seen how difficult it is for families to navigate food allergy issues outside the home in the early years. Not at all easy or fun.

Though I have yet to talk with an allergist or pediatrician (the next "get to know you" appt for the ped we wanted was 4 weeks out....think thats a bad sign???) a lot of the research I've received from Dr. Google points to avoiding all exposure to "family sensitive foods", even in minute amounts, until after one year, breastfeeding as long as possible, and a delayed and very cautious introduction of solids. I've also seen recommendations that the mother avoid the family-sensitive foods (and peanuts, because its such a common allergen) during pregnancy and breastfeeding, to eliminate possible early sensitization. Egads! To late for that! I feel like I have been living on dairy and peanut butter for the past 7 months....I love them both!

Of course, if the babe shows any sensitivities, which I know occurs even without the family link, I will definitely cut those out and it'll probably be easier for me than some, since my husband already eats that way and we know all the tricks of the trade. Supposedly allergies in babies tend go away, too, unlike adult-onset ones like my husband's.

But, back to the breastfeeding! My current question is mainly about pumps and pumping. This seems to be quite a generational thing, as almost everyone I've encountered who is of the one above me thinks they are not at all important or necessary, while most of my own generation seem to be very much in favor of them, even if one does not plan to return to work. I will be in the SAHM catagory, so in some ways it does seem silly to spend a truckload of cash on a fancy pump when I'll be around most of the time.

The pro's of having a pump on hand, I have gathered, is that you never know when you are going to need it, and when you do, you really really do, and Right! Now! For helping with things like thrush and mastisis, excessive engorgement or letdown, stimulating milk production, or keeping a sufficient supply when the baby has problems with latch, sudden nursing strikes, or things of that nature (Kateri had a very informative post on this awhile back!). Not to mention letting Daddio take on a greater role in feeding, which we are definitely interested in, and allowing me to get the heck outta here for more than a few hours (perhaps even a weekend or two?!?) now and then.

So. Pumps. Here is a great chart that lists a lot of the options. It seems many folks think hand expressing is inefficient to damn near impossible, especially if you are trying to store up any kind of frozen supply, though others swear its all they ever need. Hand pumps like this one can work (and is definitely way cheaper!), but take a lot more time and energy and are also not that efficient, so I hear? In my case, do I need something super efficient? From the reviews I've read, this one seems to be the standard for high quality pumps, so that is the one I have my eye on currently. Overkill? Should I go for one of the lower grade electric ones? Especially since I'm not working outside the home and needing to pump every day? We do intend (ha) to have more kids, either by birth or adoption, and I would definitely need a high-grade pump if I were to ever do adoptive breastfeeding. But that seems to be looking rediculously far into the future, at this point...

What do you think, dear readers? Who has advice or experience with this?

Serious Nesting
So we have been planning a bathroom remodel for years, and it is finally the coming to fruition. Our only bathroom is tiny, had pee-colored vinyl floors and tub from the 1950's, a rickety sink and sketchy tiling that the previous owners had done themselves. When we bought our house 4 years ago, the inspector expressed concern at the cracked and bulging tiles around the bathtub faucet. As the looming May baby deadline loomed closer, the thought of the growing mold, mildew and possible water damage was definitely on my mind. I would really prefer for this to be done before the babe was here, not after. We had decided awhile ago that though we can take on the challenge of some home remodel projects ourselves, dealing with plumbing, electricity and tearing out walls was not our thing. We know a good contractor who is a friend of a friend, so I called about a month ago hoping he could fit us in. We heard back from him on Friday, he gave us an estimate Sat, and could get the work done this week or in two months. This week it is, then. Everything but the toilet was torn out Monday. This also means that large portions of Sun through today (Thursday) were spent visiting numerous home improvement and plumbing stores in search of in-stock tile, fixtures, and a tub (its actually harder than it sounds! So much of the good stuff you have to order ahead of time!). So many stores, and multiple visits to many of them. We were picky about the tub so that took a good lot of searching to find one to our satisfaction. On Monday I visited 5 different stores and thanks to being 7 months pregnant got pretty good service (and had to try out the bathrooms of 4 of them!) But its coming together! Toilet was checked off yesterday, and we finally settled on a sink & vanity today, the hardest thing for us, for some reason! My biggest fear, of course, is the inevitable loss of the use of our only toilet. I seriously have to pee every 10 minutes! So far our guy has been very accommodating, however, and will only have it out of commission when its absolutely necessary. I have also been out of the house so much it has not been a problem, yet. Now that the procurment of neccesary items is complete, however, I may seek out a bathroom-friendly establishment to spend my time... Here are a few photos for 'ya. These are our tile selections: slate for the floor, blue for the shower & tub area, and part of the walls.

The Artist's Work
Lest you think all I ever do is think and obsess about pregnancy, here's a post about something ELSE that I'm actually doing. I have been getting back to some art work in the past few months, after a bit of a break where I was totally uninspired and uninterested in doing anything. Currently, and for the past few years, I have not been working outside the home. Before that, I was a 1st grade and then kindergarten teacher and pretty much felt like I was working or thinking about work ALL THE TIME, every day, and stressing about it profusely. I was sick all the time as well, which was the final straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. I felt very lucky to have the choice to quit teaching and not have to look for another job immediately. At first I did lots of projects around the house and yard, and then started doing more art in my home studio and volunteering at a few places. It has been an interesting process, learning how to work as an artist without the pressure of a boss or other such workplace structures. Unfortunately, I tend to (at least in the past) do my best work under extreme pressure and have huge motivation/procrastination issues if I do not have looming deadlines set by forces outside of myself. This is exacerbated by all the distractions my house provides to me just steps from my studio. Though I know the importance of setting a "work" schedule, actually sticking to it has not been a strong point for me. Not at all. It has also been a challenge for me to recognize and acknowledge all the other aspects of work an artist must do, besides just the "creating art" side of it. Things like researching new ideas or techniques, working on resumes and portfolios, shopping for and learning to use supplies, and pricing, marketing, and selling or showing ones work. These are things that eat up huge amounts of time and energy, and really are critical aspects of being a successful working artist. But it has been hard for me not to think of these things as somehow separate, time spent frittering away the day away and not really "working" in the sense that I've always seen it in my minds eye. In the past few months, some things happened to help me make a little progress on all this. I was lucky enough to have someone interested in buying some of my art and photographs, so I finally had to dig in and do the technical work that had to be done. I figured out the details on editing and printing my digital images, and researched and made decisions on pricing, framing and shipping options. Some of these tasks took way more time than I expected, but others were much easier, too. I was also inspired to get my website in better order, with photos and pricing, both of which were long overdue! Most recently, I just finished two commissioned mosaic pieces and now have to get started on an encaustic piece I've committed to entering in a memorial art show for a high school teacher of ours. I realize I need to continue to line up things like this, things with deadlines and intentions expressed to other people, since that keeps me on track so much more than those I just set for myself. Hopefully I'll get better with that, too, over time. Of course, there is another deadline looming for us come May, and I have a feeling all bets are off for working on art for awhile after that! Hopefully I will be able to get back to things after a bit, though? Am I kidding myself? Hope not, but we'll see...

Can We Say Emotional Wreck?
In the past week I feel like I've suddenly entered into the really pregnant stage. I have officially become "the pregnant lady". Holy crap. Here's a few things that tipped me off:

• I find I can no longer carry regular things, like a bag of dog food, a box of books, or even a laundry basket (well, at least not piled excessively high like they usually are around here). At Costco I have to unload things one at a time into my car, instead of hoisting the nicely packed box, which feels extremely inefficient.
• Today, after arriving a few minutes late to yoga, I found the door to the studio locked. I was pretty sure they were in there doing yoga, and I couldn't get in. Instead of accepting the situation and acknowledging it was not in fact the traumatic event that it seemed to be, I sobbed all the way home, totally skipping my dog food errand.
• Sleep is becoming elusive. I am getting up at least 3 times a night and then just give up around the crack of dawn because my hips hurt too much to be lying down any longer (perhaps I can blame yoga/crying incident on lack of sleep?).
• Walking around the block after dinner with the dog is now a marathon I can barely finish. Lame!
• Yesterday at the school I volunteer at I was helping with birthday treats, which was, ironically, scooping ice cream into dixie cups. I helped myself to two generous servings, one with sprinkles and one without. It wasn't even the good kind, but I couldn't help myself!
• The other day at Ikea I fleetingly considered parking in the families only and/or disabled parking area (the new parking lot feels like it is miles away) and realized after the fact that it would have been totally acceptable for me to do so. (I didn't, however, as I needed the exercise, but if I go again and actually buy stuff I probably will.)
• I realize that throughout the day I am totally doing the annoying pregnant lady belly rub that the infertiles tend to joke/kvetch about. I swore I wouldn't do it and now I can't help it, those kicks and punches really do hurt nowadays...

Yet, despite all this, I really cannot complain. Things are going very well, and I can't believe we are actually to the point of counting DOWN, not obsessively counting up each day/week. 10 weeks to go, perhaps a little less, hopefully not more...