Intrepid Murmurings

Tummytime, tummytime, tum tum tummytime...

Newest Stats
Emma went in for her 4 month check-up yesterday, and all is well. Here're some notes:

• She was 13lbs,7.5oz, which is 50% percentile for weight (also same for head circumference). Yahoo!
• She was 25.5 inches "long", and in the 85 percentile for that. The doctor remarked on her big feet, and that she might be a tall one.
• Supposedly she has remarkably strong arms, which perhaps is because her daddy carries her around by her hands while she does pull-ups? (I didn't tell the doctor this, heh)
• He also said that in fact her showing definite signs of separation anxiety and fear of strangers is very advanced of her. Hmmm. I thought she was just clingy!
• Everything else looked good, and she was pretty chipper throughout the appointment. Except for when they jabbed her in both legs with four shots. Ouch. She was pissed at us for that.

To Nap or Not to Nap....

...depends solely on mama's presence, around here. Gahh, so annoying, sometimes! Its really been this way since the beginning, I've written about it many times, and nothing has changed. Except that she is older, and past where I hoped she'd grow out of it.

The problem is that she won't fall asleep on her own (without nursing or "wearing down" in the sling), or stay asleep if I put her down. She may sleep for 5-10 minutes in her bed, but then will be awake crying hysterically after that if I don't pick her up and nurse her back to sleep immediately. My boob is a sleep crutch for her.

Everyone else I know uses the pacifier for this job, but she won't take any of them. It doesn't matter if I spend all the time in the world making sure she's fed. diapered, rocked, in a quiet room, with her sleeping music on, with a favorite blankie — even if she is tired, she will not stay asleep. If I lie there with her, she will sleep for 2 hours straight. Likewise in the sling. If she awakens slightly when I'm there, a pat or rocking will often get her back to sleep. If not that, nursing will always do it.  I suppose thats better than nothing, but still not so great when there is vacuuming and dirty toilets a calling. I have just not mastered the working while baby is in the sling hands-free deal. And it hurts my shoulders, too.

I know a lot of folks would do the "cry it out" thing, about now. I'm not a fan of that, and I really don't think I could do it. I let her cry for up to 10 minutes sometimes, if I'm really frustrated and need a break, and even that long seems like forever, and she only ramps up, not down. I'm just not willing to let her go the lengths you are "supposed" to, up to an hour, up to two hours of crying, etc, even if its only for a few days and supposedly gets better after that. I just don't think it is worth it, at this point (I suppose I should actually read a book on this method, just so I know what I am taking about, however).

I have read everything Dr. Sears has to say on the subject, and The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I've tried a lot of their advice, but probably should get more vigilant about it. Establishing a bedtime and nap routine is really important, I know, and we have some semblance of one, but its not the falling asleep thing that is a problem, its staying asleep. I have tried putting her down awake, but drowsy, many, many times, to no avail. I do tend to put her down once she falls asleep, sometimes religiously, but after spending all day trying to get her to nap, and 6-8 mini naps later, I just have stop and let her sleep on me, for the sanity of both of us.

A lot of the advice in TNCSS has to do with night-time sleep, in any case, which is actually going okay for us. In the past few weeks she will actually go down and sleep for an hour or two by herself before we go to bed, a major improvement! But the naps! Ah, the naps. It seems everyone I know has babies that fall asleep in their own beds, for hours at a time, multiple times a day. Is my kid that abnormal? Will she outgrow this, or should I put even more time and effort into working on this issue? Am I destined to one-handed web surfing and watching Little House on the Prairie reruns until she is 3? And, while we're at it, who wants to come clean my house?

Fun Times
Emma loves to sit! She is learning to read a recipe and is sharpening her knife skills, too... Emma at her desk. Working hard! A few more of the same, here.

Baby Gear Round-up, Part III
Baby Gear I (clothes), Baby Gear II (sleeping, eating, diapering, grooming) Okay, here is the final baby gear installment, including playtime, hanging out, and getting out of the house! These are the things we've found useful to have for the first few months of having a babe. In and around the house:

• bouncer (its nice to have one you can move around the house while the baby is in it, not one that collapses)
• swing
• playmat or "gym" that dangles toys
• after 3-4 months, an exersaucer or jumper (nice, but not necessary!)
• some kind of high chair (not needed until 5-6 months and up)
• Bumbo Seat or similar product (definitely not necessary, but fun and handy, for sure!) Note: At first, I didn't think we'd need both a bouncer and a swing. Supposedly, babies tend to take to one or the other as a favorite. We found the bouncer to be invaluable in the early months as a place to put the baby, awake or asleep, during the day. We moved it all around the house, wherever we were. She was never really soothed by it, though, like some babies are, though she was fine sitting in it for a bit here and there. The swing we got later, and it, too, is a good soother and occupier for a short time here and there, and every once in awhile she sleeps in it. Many people swear by it for getting their babies to sleep....but ours, of course, is not all that taken with it. Real arms a sooooo much better....

Toys:

• high contrast pictures or mobile
• baby mirror (This one is intensely popular at our house!)
• 5-10+ infant toys, of various sizes, shapes, and textures. I like the Lamaze and Manhattan Toy brands, but there are tons of other great ones out there too!
• pack of interlocking rings for dangling toys
• stacking cups for bath
• floating toys for bath (mostly for 4 months and up)
• board books with bright colors and bold pictures. Baby faces are a hit!

Out and About:

• carseat, either an infant style or convertible (see my post about carseats and the advice I was given -- we ended up getting an infant seat, and it has come in handy, though I really try to avoid carrying it around all that much.
• baby mirror for car -- really nice to have so you can see the baby!
• diaper bag, stocked with stuff
• stroller ¹
• sling, wrap, or other soft carrier ²

¹ Currently, I am an obsessive babywearer and do not have a good stroller at all. I do want one, but am unsure of what kind of stroller to get: small, lightweight and easy to fold? Or one with big wheels so I can take it "offroading" in the park, and up curbs and such, where I will mostly be using it? Or one with a good storage bin underneath for shopping? All of the above? It seems the ones I like tend to be huge and expensive, hence, I have not gotten one yet. Who has suggestions on strollers? Post your ideas, please! ² But the babywearing, ah, the babywearing! I am not going to go into lots of details now, for I have at least a whole post's worth on the subject. There are all sorts of carriers, and pros and cons to each. Needless to say, I really like pouch-style slings early on because they are so easy to learn how to use, and snuggly for the baby. Now I am into ring slings, because they are so easy to breastfeed in, and am making/getting a wrap or two very soon. I will post on this, my newest obsession, in the near future... So, that's it, folks. Please post your suggestions and ideas, as well. Especially on the strollers -- I really need some help in that department!

Happygirl

Baby Gear Round-Up, Part II
Part 1 here! So here are more things I have found useful or not, these first three months or so of having a babe. Beds & such:

• Crib, if you wish. We actually only use ours for naps currently.
• and/or Bedside baby bed (a bassinette, cosleeper, snugglenest, pack n' play w/bassinette, etc) Notes: These are really nice for keeping the baby close. We have the Amby Baby Hammock, which she sleeps in pretty well, again, mostly for naps, though I'd like to transition her into it for the first part of the night, as well. It cradles the baby more like arms do, which, of course, they like. It also rocks and bounces, a lot of you push it, a little if they kick or move. I do kinda wish I'd gotten a bedside co-sleeper; that looks pretty handy and easier for breastfeeding at night.
• Co-sleeping? It is best to get a King-sized bed (we can't fit it, though, and manage fine), make sure you don't have a soft pillow-top mattress, and to follow all the other safety guidelines for cosleeping, like getting a sturdy mesh guardrail or putting the mattress on the floor.

For whatever bed the baby is sleeping in:

• 2-3 bottom sheets,
• at least 1 mattress pad
• 1-2 waterproof/water-resistant barriers. (note: I didn't like the idea of the fumes that come out of regular waterproof mattress pads so I got a wool "puddle-pad" for her crib, and a non-plasticized mattress protector for our bed. So far, they've worked fine. We don't have a ton of leaks, though.)
• 2-3 sleep sacks of varying weights/fabrics for warmth, especially if the baby is not sleeping with you.
• 1 sleep positioner, to keep the baby on his/her back and from rolling around too much early on (it was especially useful for me while co-sleeping, to prevent her from rolling from a side-lying nursing position to tummy after we both fell asleep.)
• 8-10 receiving blankets (make sure they are the largest size, if you can)
• 2-3 knit blankets

Breastfeeding:

• Breastfeeding pillow (I used the "My Brest Friend" a lot early on, and now use the "Boppy" more)
• Lanisoh nipple cream (!!)
• Cloth and disposable breast pads (Note: I got about 10 cloth ones, and wish I had more. My favorites are the ones from the Fuzzibunz diaper company, my favorite disposables are the Lanisoh brand, but there are a few other nice soft ones out there)
• Breast Pump. I struggled with this when I was pregnant and shopping around for this. It is hard to know ahead of time how much of a pump you will need. If you are going to be pumping after going back to work, you should definitely shell out for a high quality double electric pump. I have the Isis IQ Duo and really like it a lot, though I've heard a lot of good things about the Medela Pump in Style, too. I like the "massaging let down cushions" that come on the horns of the Isis and am getting more milk out with it than I did with a hospital grade Medela pump, but with the Isis you cannot buy larger sized horns like you can with the Medela pumps, which can be an issue with those more well-endowed than I. If you are not planning to go back to work but can afford it, I would still consider getting a good electric pump since there can be times when you really need it, like if you are having latch issues, a nursing strike, needing to increase supply or build a freezer stash, etc. You can get a nice hand pump like the Isis manual that might get you through these things, though, but it is a much slower go with those, and trust me, the less time you have to spend on this, the better! The good thing about most of the fancier electric pumps, at least the Isis IQ, is that it comes with parts that convert it to a hand pump if you are somewhere (like the car or a restroom) where you need to pump without electricity. If you do buy a pump ahead of time, its a good idea to not open it and keep the receipt, in case you decide you need a different one (or don't need it at all) when the time comes.
• Breastmilk storage bags/containers (I like the Lanisoh storage bags because they have a good ziptop seal, though bottles/containers that go with your pump are nice, too)
• A microwave sterilizer or sterilizing bags are really nice, too, if you will be pumping a lot.
• Nursing bras! And shirts! I never have enough of them, and could dedicate a whole post to that. This is my absolute favorite, and its good because it is stretchy and will give you a bit of leeway when size is still up in the air (its not very supportive, however, so for larger sizes it might not be right?). I also have my eye on this one, because its supposedly longer and has more tummy coverage. It is insane how much good nursing wear costs, I absolutely hate that.

Bottle Feeding

• Bottles. Don't get a ton of bottles before your baby comes, because you have no idea which kind he or she will take! I got 3-4 singles of various kinds that were "breastfeeding friendly", and that worked well (you might get more than that if you know you will exclusively bottle feed). She initially only took this kind of bottle, but now takes others that are faster flow.
• A bottle brush is nice, if you will be handwashing, or a dishwasher basket for holding nipples and little parts, if you will be putting them in there.
• Some kind of little plastic carrier for individual portions of formula is very handy for outings. I am still looking for something like this that is not too big.
• 8-10 cloth bibs. There are short little ones out there that are great for catching bottle dribble (and drool, later on)

Diapering Well, now you have another choice. Cloth or disposable? We do a mix of both, cloth at home and disposables at night and for outings (or when I'm behind on laundry!)

• If you do cloth, there are so many options! Here's a post of mine about what we started out with. We love the Fuzzi Bunz the most, for sure, but fitted cloth diapers are great, too. Count on going through at least 10-12 diapers a day, sometimes more, sometimes less. I'd recommend at least 2 dozen diapers, more would be very nice (we have slightly less and its not so great). If you will be using wraps, get at least 5-8.
• At least one large pack of size 1 disposables to start, more if you are going all disposable
• 2 + packs of wipes of your choice
• 1-2 tubes of rash cream, I like the Burts Bee's version
• Changing table of some sort, can be a dresser top!
• Changing pad, plus two covers
• 1-2 pails with a lid, or wet bags. (these bags are nice for cloth diapers, though you can use a pail instead. I've found just a basic step pail works well for us for our disposables, no need for the fancy ones, though those may be nice, who knows...)
• diaper bag or backpack
• changing pad for diaper bag
• wet sack or plastic bags for dirty diapers in diaper bag

Bathing & Grooming

• Grooming kit (mainly a comb or brush, and baby nail clippers)
• Baby bath tub (nice, I suppose not necessary)
• 2 packs of baby washcloths
• Baby Shampoo and/or soap
• Baby First Aid kit (ideally at least 2 thermometers, 2-3 medicine droppers, 1-2 squeeze bulbs)
• Assorted medicines, if you wish. I got: Baby Tylenol, Gripe Water, Mylicon Drops

Well, thats it, I think. Geesh, what a lot of stuff! What did I miss? Anyone have any other advice? Do you totally disagree with me? Baby Gear Round 3, the last installment, will have stuff for entertainment, toys, carriers, carseats and such. Coming soon...

Now, for something not about the baby
Well, in a way I guess it is. There are photos of her on it. But anyway, this is officially my first (somewhat) creative project in a long while....a new, desparately needed coat rack! click to enlarge It was made out of a weathered board from behind my parents shed, some hooks, and a wire to hang it. Tricky! I was going to paint it something like this, but that seemed overwhelming and I couldn't decide what to do. Now, I can rotate what I put on it whenever I want, since the photos and poem are just on there with thumbtacks. The poem in the center is one I got from the author, Kim Stafford, at a writing workshop I took from him a couple of years ago. The poem was really new at the time. Here is a close-up for you to read. I really like it.

PCOS, Low Milk Supply & Meds update

The more I learn about this issue with PCOS and low supply, the more it seems there are a lot of folks out there with it. And yet not a ton of info out there about it, either. I've gotten a few questions from folks in the form of emails and comments lately, so I thought I'd post a few more things about what I'm doing and how its all working.

What did/does your pumping schedule look like?

After day 4, when Emma was dehydrated, losing lots of weight and my milk was only just coming in (slowly!), I started pumping about 8 times a day with a hospital grade double pump (while also taking fenugreek and blessed thistle capsules). I tried to pump right after feedings (which took about 40 minutes, usually, and were every 2 hours or less) for about 10-15 minutes (I later found I get another letdown if I go longer). Pumping hurt like hell (it doesn't now) and I would get somewhere between a few drops and a quarter of an ounce, total. I was never really religious about pumping the 8-12 times they recommend because she was on the breast constantly, as well, and it just seemed impossible with all the cleaning of the parts and regular baby care. After awhile, I went down to 4 times a day, but was getting a bit more each time. I soon stopped pumping and taking herbs altogether since she was gaining well. We also quit supplementing. Oops.

After that she did not gain well, though she didn't lose weight, either. But she was still at birth weight at 7 weeks or so, which wasn't good. She was starting to get fussy and seemed hungry again, a lot of the time. I started pumping again, only 6 times a day, and started the herbs again. This time, I was getting a bit more, usually about an ounce to an ounce and a half total, after feedings. Definitely a lot more than the first weeks, but still not a ton.

Now, I rarely pump, but probably should. I still get about an ounce and a half after feedings, sometimes two ounces. I get about three let-downs per session, which is a lot more than I did those first weeks. If I pump with full breasts, after she feeds from a bottle, I can sometimes get close to 3 ounces. Supposedly, a baby is "more efficient" than the pump so hopefully she is getting more than what I can pump, most times.

What does your supplementing look like?

Those first two weeks we offered her 2 ounces in a bottle after offering the breast, every other feeding or so (she was nursing a TON, however, like an hour at a time, 10-12x a day). When we started up again at 8 weeks, we would offer 3 ounces, every other feeding. She didn't always take it all. Once she started gaining well again, I stopped offering it quite as much, and only do it when I can tell she's still hungry, which is about 3 times a day. She is getting about 6-9 ounces a day of formula now at 15 weeks old, sometimes in a supplementary nursing system because she does start to prefer the bottle after awhile, but sometimes a bottle anyway, because its easier, and someone other than me can do it. I have absolutely no idea how much breastmilk she is getting, but she must be getting more breastmilk than formula.

What ever happened with the Metformin? Did you start taking it?

No, I did not. I did get an acknowledgment from my RE that I "fall into the gray area" of PCOS, and while I do not have a full blown case, I do have a lot of the symptoms which could qualify as a mild case. That is the closest to an explanation/diagnosis we've ever had for all our infertility struggles! Since the RE doesn't work with postpartum women, she suggested I go to my OB. My OB was not comfortable prescribing Metformin since its such an experimental thing to use it while breastfeeding and for increasing milk supply. Since I have never actually been on it previously, I decided not to push the issue this time, but I will think seriously about it if I we have trouble conceiving again, or if I do get pregnant, since it supposedly helps with breast tissue growth and development during pregnancy.

Where did you get your prescription for Reglan and Domperidone? Have you noticed much of a difference using them? Between the two?

I got my prescription for Reglan from my OB. She would not give me one for Domperidone, and the nurse who I had to go through seemed slightly ignorant about the details of it, saying that the local pharmacy I had found that would give it to me (with a prescription) was "breaking the law" (in fact, compounding pharmacies in the US do not have to follow FDA guidelines, so its not illegal for them). I ended up getting the Dom online from New Zealand, with no prescription necessary, after much research and a discussion with my lactation consultant.

In terms of the two, I do think both meds increased my supply, but how much I can't tell. It wasn't like I woke up one day engorged and overflowing, thats for sure! I have seen a slight increase in my pumping quantities, but the biggest sign is that Emma is fussing on the breast less, and growing the way that she is (quite a bit!) with the only the amount of supplementing that we are doing now. As for differences between the two, I haven't noticed any. I have been lucky to not have not noticed side effects with either. I prefer Domperidone because it is safer in terms of it getting into my breastmilk and because of the huge risk of depression thats common with Reglan.

What are you doing now? How are things going?

First off, we are finally past all of the horrible pain and problems with latch, and totally off the nipple shields. Finally!!! It just slowly got better and better around 10 weeks or so. Egads, that was a long time, though! As mentioned above, we are still supplementing with formula. I have accepted that this will probably continue at least until she starts solids. I am now taking Domperidone, Fenugreek and blessed thistle. I just ordered some of this from Motherlove Herbals, and after reading some of the testimonials, am excited to give it a try. Goat's Rue supposedly has some effects similar to Metformin. I'm also doing a lot of research into foods that help increase milk supply and have a review coming on a good book I've found on that. I've also officially joined the La Leche League, too, so I suppose I now count as a crazy lactivist. Geesh. As if you didn't see that coming....

Any more questions? Keep them coming! To all you out there who are in the midst of dealing with low supply issues, I wish you the very best. I know how challenging, frustrating, and heartbreaking it can be, especially in the early days when you are dealing with learning how to breastfeed and take care of a newborn, as well! There are so many things you can try, though, and I think they can really be worth it. And if they don't, it really will be okay. I feel really good about how things are going, after slowly working my way through some tough emotions. One thing I have discovered is that, at least for me, there is no silver bullet to make my low supply issues go away. I know I've been lucky, too, in being able to give my baby as much breastmilk as I do. And while I look forward to trying some new things as we go along, I'm now to the point where I won't be crushed if they don't work. We have a great thing going over here now, and Emma is doing marvelously, which is the most important thing.

Remembering a friend (**links added)

Remembering a friend,
gone too soon,

Who lived life hard
and fast,
and full!

an adventurer
seeker
rainbow chaser

My reggae dancing buddy,
we danced beneath a wide drunken sky
"If you know what life is worth
then you will look for yours on Earth..."

The way you lived your life,
its like you knew

Always a smile,
a laugh,
an offer to help;
my go-to guy anytime
a 2am computer crunch
rescuing my first webpage,
and my sanity
now here I am, still...!

Well, we went our own ways
you East, me West
our paths haven't crossed in years.
I have only heard of your struggles
secondhand, bits and pieces
passed through others.

But my thoughts have flown to you
often
and I know you fought a good fight
I'm sure of it
with grace, dignity,
beauty,
love.

We will miss you Eric Yann Battle 9/14/76 - 8/28/06

**There is a new blog set up to honor Yann online. Find it here: Remember Yann Here is Yann's Old Webpage (best viewed in IE, not Mozilla). To follow the broken links, just replace the outdated "acns" part of the address to "res".